5 challenges of being a ‘third culture kid’

Have you heard of the third culture kids? You haven’t? No worries. It was last summer when I first heard of this term. That is, when I decided to set up my home online; my personal blog. Initially, I considered having a name for the blog which would embrace life experiences from two continents and four countries.

Research on the Internet would take me to journal papers on the challenges that third culture kids (known as TCKs) tend to face when they interact with others, throughout their childhood and adult life. Before exploring the challenges of being a third culture kid, let’s look at the term in some detail.

Defining the third culture kids

So who are the third culture kids? In a nutshell, there are children raised and educated in a culture different from their parents’ or in a family where their parents come from different cultures. Picture this: a child moving between two different cultures, creating their own third and unique culture. How does that sound to you?

Around 1960s, Ruth Hill Useem introduces the term to the public through relevant research, to see it being slowly established. The term may refer to both children and adults. Should the acronym ATCKs pop up on the screen, you will know that it refers to adult third culture kids; those who were exposed to different cultures at an early age.

As you may have guessed, being a third culture kid presents both challenges and joys. It is as if you are standing between different cultures. And you are studying different ideologies, philosophies, values every day. Every day, you do your best to grasp the differences, to embrace them and find balance within. And you are only…7. C’est difficile!

5 challenges of being a third culture kid

Let’s look at five main challenges that a third culture kid tends to face, regardless of age. Let’s suppose that we are having a coffee chat with that kid and they are narrating their story, in the first person.

(1) Introducing myself

So, here I am, with new friends. And they ask a simple question, for them: “Where are you from?” Silence! I am thinking how I should answer the question. Oh yes, I could say where I was born. Only that doesn’t feel quite right. I feel like explaining, sharing my difference with them, to be just like them. I’m not certain where to start from. Silence!

(2) In which language?

I started learning foreign languages at an early age. For me, that wasn’t foreign. That was one more way to interact with others. More precisely, to communicate with relatives abroad; people at school; people at work. There were times when I mixed up languages. I would be conversing in a language and without realising it, I would start using words and phrases from other languages I know. Others would notice it, and show it to me in different ways. Sometimes I would laugh along. Sometimes I would feel sad.

(3) That accent of mine!

Well, even if I want to keep it to myself, I can’t. That accent of mine says it all! I may be able to converse with poise in three – four – five languages, yet I have no perfect accent, in any of them. I have even been told that is sounds “broken” – literally. There is something that says that I may not be local. I’m probably from someplace else. I do my best to explain, sometimes with no success. Eh bien!

(4) About my identity

This is where it starts to get difficult. What is my identity? I have heard that our roots (the basis for our identity) exist where our childhood memories are made. Only my memories are made in two –three – four countries. I have been told that I belong “nowhere and everywhere.” I don’t understand that. I too want to have a single point of reference. I need to be able to say that I belong “here” or “there” – in a single word. And that can be an intense need, and I may forget all other needs, equally important and valid. That is difficult.

(5) Like ripe fruit

I hear that I am wise beyond my years. People get impressed with my scratching the surface of things to find the deeper truth. How I process and analyse issues and situations. How I express a stance and viewpoint. Since I have been exposed to various stimuli, piece of cake! Un jeu d’ enfant! I may look like ripe fruit ready to be picked, yet I don’t feel like that. I may need more time, to mature within; to be like others, the way I need…

Being raised and educated between different cultures can be challenging. You work hard to find your roots, to understand your identity and to share it with others. Hold on! That work presents joys as well. Let’s look at them next time, including relevant references.

Have a creative week!

A blogger friend, Joanna